Forgiveness

I heard Don Henley in my head as I typed that title. "I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, but my flesh gets weak. My thoughts seem to scatter, but I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness..."

Sometimes it is easy for me to forgive. There are people in my life that I sincerely love (and like) and want to maintain a close loving relationship with, and it is easy for me to forgive those people. I usually realize very quickly that their presence in my life is much too important for me to push them away by not forgiving them. Then there are people that, honestly, are hard to even like...people that I don't get along with. Typically I just think these people are ridiculous. I don't understand them, and they probably don't understand me. My bad attitude takes over 89% of the time, and it shows when something happens.

When someone hurts me, my family, or any of the previously sincerely loved people I get mad. Very mad. Then like Don Henley says "my flesh gets weak. My thoughts seem to scatter..." I'm definitely not trying to take a lesson from Don Henley, but that song is now in my head. I overthink many situations, and it leads to worry and anxiety. Before I know it, I will have created a scenario in my head that may or may not happen, but I'm already reacting as if it will. That's been a struggle of mine for quite a while, and if I'm not careful I'll go off on a tangent and completely forget the point of this post.

Ok. Forgiveness.

The Bible speaks a lot about forgiveness.

Following the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

In Matthew 18 Jesus uses the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant to explain forgiveness and tell us to forgive "seventy times seven."

Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven"

The list goes on and on and on.

Maybe it's just me, but forgiveness is easy to understand in theory, but in certain situations with certain people, it is nothing but... a pain. Forgiving someone can be such a blessing. Forgiving someone creates the opportunity for us to become more like our creator and learn more about him. However, because of our very sinful nature forgiveness is counterintuitive. I think we can all agree that it's easier to just hold a grudge, at least in the short term. I also think my personality lends itself to grudge holding.

So, I have a few questions that I would really like answered. I'm not necessarily looking for the right answer. I just want to know what people think about this. How do others react? What can I learn from them? Here are my questions:

-What are practical things to do in order to forgive someone? (It's always good to have a reminder of the basics!)
-How do you forgive someone while still dealing with the hurt of the offense?
-While dealing with the hurt and trying to forgive, how do you take thoughts captive and lay them down before the Lord in order to forgive someone?
-Is it okay to forgive someone and then separate yourself from them? What if it is someone who repeatedly offends you?

I'm anxious to hear others' thoughts.

I'm going to Spain!

...well, not yet.

In 11 days I will pack up several very large suitcases, pay extra fees for weight to have them put on the plane, and start my 117 days journey in Europe. I don't know if I'm really prepared to spend 4 months in Europe. I am terrified. I've never done anything like this on my own. I feel like working at Pine Cove last summer helped me prepare for this in some ways. I started that not knowing anyone there and not having a clue as to what I was supposed to be doing. Horses + Caroline = VERY scary. But I lived through it and actually had an excellent time. God provided so much during those 7 weeks. However, even going into that was a little familiar. At least I was familiar with the culture. I knew that I would be working with Christians in a Christian environment. Spain will be so different. Luckily my parents, grandmother, and I will be there 10 days before the program starts, and I'll have some time to get used to Barcelona. I have to keep telling myself that God will provide everything I need just like he did for me in Texas.

If you feel so inclined, I ask that you join me in praying for a few things:
1) Church. I've been looking around on the internet with little luck for a church to attend while I'm there. It's my hope that I can find one and have some sort of Christian community in Spain. Barcelona is a very large city, so hopefully I will have some luck when I get there.
2) Roommates. I haven't spoken to anyone that I will be studying with. Spain has a reputation for being the country to study abroad in for the purpose of partying. I'm not strictly against it, but I don't necessarily want to be surrounded by it all the time. That would be a LOT easier if I lived with at least one person with the same mindset as me.
3) Attitude. As the time to leave draws closer, I keep getting more and more sad. I know it's going to be such a good experience, but I am so sad about what I will miss here. Just know that I will probably check the internet all day long on the first gameday (and 2nd, 3rd, 4th...), I will be looking at old pictures of Hayride Hoedown in October, and will definitely cry anytime someone puts up pictures of something fun on Facebook. And there's a certain person that I will miss constantly. I really don't want my attitude to ruin the experience I could have in Barcelona.

That's all for now. My next post may or may not be from Spain!!!

I should be studying...

...but instead I wanted to share this with you. You'll probably recognize this ditty as made popular by Chris Tomlin.



How cool is it that a group of young people in Romania is worshipping the same God that we worship, and with a song that we use so often?! Often I get so caught up in myself and (un)intentionally have the mindset that all Christians are like me and should respond to God in the same way that I do. This video was a great reminder that God is much bigger than me, more concerned about places other than America, and his kingdom is much bigger than anything we can hope or imagine. I'm so thankful for unity in diversity.

Now for a familiar passage from Romans 12.
"(3) For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. (4) For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, (5) so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another."

Oh the fun...

After Friday's classes, Lucinda and I headed down to Mobile for a bachelorette party. The bride, Krista, is a longtime friend, and we, along with another longtime friend, are bridesmaids in the wedding. We reserved a room at the recently renovated Riverview Hotel (formerly the Adam's Mark), and prepared for an evening in downtown Mobile. I don't think I need to say this, but I don't spend much of my time in bars, much less the ones in downtown Mobile. I think it's okay to say that neither Lu nor I participate in the same activities as the other two. I didn't really know what I was in for, but it really ended up being kind of fun. I really just wanted to share some of our conversations with you, but I have to set the scene for each one.

I must interject: The Riverview is fantastic now! If you ever stayed in the Adam's Mark and witnessed the grossness of that, you will be completely surprised. I'm not sure why I ever stayed in the Adam's Mark considering I grew up about an hour away, but I did... and it was disgusting. Back to the story.

We started of the night opening up the basket another bridesmaid's mom made for Krista. I think details would be inappropriate for this blog. After dinner we hit the streets in our matching red and white bridesmaid's tank tops, and Krista in her veil and sash :) It was cute, let me tell you. Our first stop was Grand Central. This is only the 2nd bar that I had visited and I'm pretty sure it was Lu's first.

After they got their drinks and we all sat down we were immediately approached by Steve Alexander. He's a newanchor/weatherman/i have no clue for WKRG. Apparently Krista and Steve know each other from being at several other bars together. I'm pretty sure he's homosexual because there were a lot of meow sounds and clawing motions. He would do that with everything that he thought was so fantastic. For example:
Steve: Krista, what are you doing here?
Krista: We're here for my bachelorette party.
Steve: Oh, Krista, you're going to be a beautiful bride! Meow!!! (add clawing motion)

It really was hilarious.

Then two guys came over which prompted 2 different conversations. I give them to you now...
Conversation 1
Mexican guy: What do your shirts say?
Me: Bridesmaid
Mexican: Oh wow! That's cool. (Looking at all of the bridesmaids) Bridesmaid! Bridesmaid! Bridesmaid! (Now looking at Krista who is wearing a veil and a sash that reads "bride to be") Is it your birthday today?!?!

Conversation 2
Pink shirt guy: Richmond. Is that, like, the school y'all go to, or something?
Lu: It says "bridesmaid"
Pink shirt guy: Oh... haha. (Then he starts staring at the wall for several minutes)

After that we went to another bar where Ashton (the other bridesmaid) promptly got into a fight with some guy.

Then to bar #3 with some people Krista knows. Please keep in mind that it was about 1:30 at this time. Poor Lu had some guy trying to woo her all night long. And he was NASTY! I try to keep an open mind, but this guy needed a bath.
Nasty guy: Why aren't you dancing?
Lu: I just don't like to dance with strange men.
Nasty: You could just dance with me.
Lu: That's what I meant by the previous statement.
Nasty: Just dance. At the end of the night, I'll go to my house, and you'll go to yours. No worries.
Lu: Don't worry, I don't know where you'll end up but it won't be with me.
Nasty: How old are you?
Lu: 17. She (pointing to me) is the same. You might want to leave us alone if you don't want a record.

The next conversation occured at about 4 AM.

(Guy looking at Lu's red shirt with white writing)
Guy: Budweiser. Wow! Are you sponsored by them?
Lu: Can't you read? It says bridesmaid.
Guy: Too bad. That would be really cool if you were.

Finally about 5 AM we left the bars and headed back to the hotel room. Krista, Ashton, and friends were all sufficiently drunk. Lu and I were exhausted. I really dislike being around sloppy drunks, but I must say that Krista (who was not sloppy drunk, but drunk) is the most hilarious drunk person I have ever been around. And I've been around my fair share. I think the best moment of the night was when Krista decided to do an interpretive dance to the last song at the bar. If I had a better memory, or if it hadn't been 5AM, I would have had to include the entire conversation that we had on our way back to the hotel.

The morals of the story:
-Friends are friends, drunk or sober. You've got to love them even when you have to hold their hair back.
-I would have never gone to those places on my own, but I am thankful for the little bit of time that I had to hang out with Krista before she gets married. Even though it's not really my scene or crowd, she's my friend and I love her.
-If you have to stay in Mobile, the Riverview is a good place to stay.
-Fabaucher's is not a good bar to try to be inconspicuous in.

Muy Cansada

I've been way too busy lately.

After a weekend home, a weekend in DC, and a trip to Mobile and back (in less than 24 hours) this past weekend I have sufficiently worn myself out. These things have been so much fun though, so I can only complain about a few things :)

Spending the 4th in DC was pretty much amazing. I can't get over how much fun it was! We did a lot of walking and sightseeing, but it was so much fun just to hang out and laugh. I think it was the best group ever- and I would have never spent it with them if it weren't for Joel. Crazy.

On the 4th we stumbled upon a demonstration of sorts that I can't stop thinking about. At first, all we heard was something about pot. Maybe to legalize it? I'm not sure. Then, a Rage Against the Machine cover band took the stage and it turned into a huge anti-government scream-fest. Now, this part doesn't surprise me. It's something that I would expect from a crowd like that. The fact that it was happening on the 4th was a little upsetting, but freedom of speech is one of the great gifts of our country. They had every right to be there. However, what made me so upset was the passion in their voices and actions. It broke my heart to know that this, bashing the government and smoking pot, was their life. On that day, the most important thing in the world was to be heard. As a Christian, with a group of Christians, it was so evident that they've completely missed the point. All their energy was going into supporting an ungodly, fleeting worldview, and one day none of it will matter anymore. I desperately wanted them to know that there was more. That their political views wouldn't really matter because one day we will all die and either go to a very real heaven or a very real hell. And I want to be able to see them in heaven one day. I really REALLY want them to be there. As we left and walked along the Vietnam Memorial (I was also upset that the veterans working there had to hear the ruckus) I held back tears as I prayed and prayed for God to reveal himself to them. I hope that one day He will.

I wonder all the time what is in the works for America. What is God's plan for the seeming fall of morality all over the world? The only comforting thing about it is that one day it will be over, and he is using it to glorify himself.


This past Friday Lu and I went to Mobile for a bachelorette party. We definitely stuck out like sore thumbs at the bars they drug us to. I might post some of the conversations we had later...

I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it!

The 4th of July has been my favorite holiday for a few years, and I'm SUPER excited to be able to pass the weekend in DC with A-MAZING people. So, Kinzie, Adam, Joel, Adam, Virginia, Leslie, Brenna, and Shane, it's going to be a good weekend. I'm thankful I that I will be able to spend it with all of you.

Book Review

It has been a while since I've taken the time to read a book for no good reason. I'm in the middle of a few books that aren't related to classes, and while they are very beneficial to my life and learning, I wouldn't necessarily say they are "fun" to read. So, when I was home after my finals, I raided my mom's book stash and found "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I had heard a little buzz about this book, but didn't really have a clue what it was about. However, it did have Oprah's approval, and she has pretty good taste in books. I figured it was worth a shot...

The book is somewhat of an autobiography chronicling Gilbert's path of self-discovery. After a very bitter divorce, bouts with depression, and an unhealthy affair, she decides to take a year pursuing pleasure in Italy, prayer in India, and a mix of the two in Bali. Gilbert's writing style is the number one draw for this book, in my opinion. Her stories are good, but would be, well, lame if she wasn't such a good writer. However, the further I got into the book, the sadder I got.

The book starts with Gilbert hearing a voice from "God." I put that in quotations, because I'm certain that she is not referring to the one true God. Throughout the book she keeps hearing this voice, but recognizes it as herself... or rather, the god within herself. Her four months in India only serve to urge her in this line of thinking. I certainly don't know this woman, but it saddens me to think that she spends a whole year learning different chants, meditations, and learning from all kinds of "gurus" only to decide that she is her own god. The story is very inspiring, and Gilbert does end up a more stable person than she started, but after spending a year and thousands upon thousands of dollars, she misses God. She never comes to a knowledge of what she was searching for.

It saddens me that people like Elizabeth Gilbert are inspiration for the world today, but the majority of the press that the Gospel gets is Joel Osteen... not a great representative. Praise God that we serve a God that is mightier than any book, media, or even the seas.

Exodus 15:10-12 (English Standard Version)
10 You blew with your wind; the sea covered them;
they sank like lead in the mighty waters.
11 "Who is like you, O LORD, among the gods?
Who is like you, majestic in holiness,
awesome in glorious deeds, doing wonders?
12You stretched out your right hand;
the earth swallowed them.