...an abnormal pregnancy," Dr. Masel said sadly. Blighted ovum. I knew it before she said it. That's the problem with being an over-researcher. Knowing way too much.
I was pregnant for 9 weeks and 4 days, though, technically, our baby stopped growing at 5 weeks. We went to the doctor for the very first appointment on Thursday. I was determined to hear the heartbeat or something, so I got Joel to come along as well. I'm so thankful that he was there. Thursday ended up being a very long day (in the hospital from 10:45-3... at least) with plenty of tests and too many tears.
I am now a mother, but I do not have a child in my arms.
I never really understood how that changes a person until now.
4.30.2011
10.20.2010
Oh, please listen ladies and gents!
This post is good. I mean, it's right on.
For a long time, I've had a hard time with the idea of "the one." Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Joel. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be married to him. I am very positive that we made the right choice in marrying each other. But, I would be lying if I said that he completes me... or that I couldn't have married someone else. We could have married other people and still had good and God glorifying marriages--even if they might not have been as fun :).
I don't want to restate what the post already says (go ahead, read it). I just don't like that we keep perpetuating this lie of "the one." Let's teach young girls to be Godly women and make Godly choices... they're going to learn enough about fairy tales elsewhere.
For a long time, I've had a hard time with the idea of "the one." Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Joel. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be married to him. I am very positive that we made the right choice in marrying each other. But, I would be lying if I said that he completes me... or that I couldn't have married someone else. We could have married other people and still had good and God glorifying marriages--even if they might not have been as fun :).
I don't want to restate what the post already says (go ahead, read it). I just don't like that we keep perpetuating this lie of "the one." Let's teach young girls to be Godly women and make Godly choices... they're going to learn enough about fairy tales elsewhere.
9.23.2010
Hello out there!
Well, it’s looks like my blogging bug died out as soon as I created the page. Maybe because it took me forever to figure out how to import the posts from my old blog. Now I’m ready to start writing again, and I think I may have lost my bloggers voice!
So, please bear with me as I figure out what this blog will be like. I think the first few post may be a little catching up on life in the past 8 months. Partly because I know a few people from Chatom will want to know, and partly because I will forget all of it if it’s not written somewhere. And who doesn’t want to document their whole life on the internet for the world to read? Privacy... who needs it?
So, please bear with me as I figure out what this blog will be like. I think the first few post may be a little catching up on life in the past 8 months. Partly because I know a few people from Chatom will want to know, and partly because I will forget all of it if it’s not written somewhere. And who doesn’t want to document their whole life on the internet for the world to read? Privacy... who needs it?
5.15.2010
I'm Baaaacck!
So, I decided that I would start blogging again. I really enjoyed blogging while I was in Spain. I didn't do much after I got back (wedding planning + school = no blog time), but now I think it's time. There are exciting things happening in our life, so please be excited with us as we share!
P.S. I think I deserve points for learning how to import all of the posts from my old blog to this new one....
8.27.2009
100 years is a long time
Last weekend I made a trip back home to Chatom. I've been making a lot of those lately, and will make a lot more in the next 4 months. In the first few years of college I rarely made it back to Chatom. Going home usually meant going to the beach! I'm really glad that I've been able to spend so much time in my hometown recently, though. It's been so nice to soak up my last few months in Alabama while remembering growing up in that small town. I know I'll always be able to come back, but DC is much farther away than Auburn!
This time I went home to celebrate the 100th birthday of Chatom Baptist Church. Should it be anniversary? Either way, 100 years is a long time! It was so much fun to sit in that church and just listen to the history. It was especially neat because so much of the history includes my family. My great-great-grandparents were founding members of the church and set an example of faithfulness that has continued until today. I'm so thankful that the Lord continued to call the Schells/Hensons/Smiths/etc. to himself! I certainly hope and pray that he continues to do so for another 100 years!
This time I went home to celebrate the 100th birthday of Chatom Baptist Church. Should it be anniversary? Either way, 100 years is a long time! It was so much fun to sit in that church and just listen to the history. It was especially neat because so much of the history includes my family. My great-great-grandparents were founding members of the church and set an example of faithfulness that has continued until today. I'm so thankful that the Lord continued to call the Schells/Hensons/Smiths/etc. to himself! I certainly hope and pray that he continues to do so for another 100 years!
8.03.2009
6 months....
... since I last posted here. I miss it. I'm going to try and start writing again. Granted, I don't think anyone will be as excited about my life in Auburn as they were about my life in Barcelona, but it will get me in the habit again. So, I'm going to use this space to write about my last 4 months and 29 days as a single lady, wedding planning, and all the tears I will shed about leaving Auburn. Maybe, just maybe, after January 1 there will be a new blog to go along with my new last name... :)
P.S. Jan. 1, 2010 is the big day... PTL!!!
P.S. Jan. 1, 2010 is the big day... PTL!!!
2.15.2009
Life since Spain...
#1: This is mostly so I can look back and remember the last couple of months. It probably won't be entertaining.
#2: I already know that it will be horribly written.
I've been meaning to write this post for a while, but have only now taken the time to do so. Granted, it's 11 PM and I should be doing homework, so this should probably be classified as "procrastination tool." I've officially been home almost 2 months, but it has seemed so much longer!
I think I've gotten to the point that I can look back on Spain with fondness. It's not that I didn't enjoy my time there, but it was difficult. I have such a busy/fun life here in the States and many friends and family. I was harder to be away from them than I thought it would be. The last 4 weeks were really hard! It was not fun to watch my new fiance hop back on a plane to the States. I was definitely ready to be home after that! However, in the past week or so, I've been thinking back to specific days or trips with much fondness. I keep retracing my walk to school, the walk to the peanut butter aisle in El Corte Ingles, the walk down La Rambla... as much as possible. I can tell I'm losing the vividness of some of those sights. I know I have to get back there one day.
After I flew home, I was of course bombarded with, "How was Spain?" I really appreciate everyone's interest in the trip, but how to you answer that in the 3 sentences or less that they will listen to? "Um, it was different but good." "I enjoyed it." Those can't adequately describe the emotions and experiences that I had there. I don't really know if I had the wonderful experience I thought I would. It was fun and I would definitely recommend it to anyone (just not through KEI), but I don't think people want to hear, "It was alright."
Christmas break was excellent. I got to spend much needed time with my family, friends, as well as with Joel and his family. I think I was a little awkward around everyone at first, but it doesn't take long to relax when you are home. However, that doesn't mean that I wasn't busy. I came home and immediately launched into Christmas mode. After that made a trip to B'ham and brought Joel back to Chatom with me. We then spent a wonderful New Year's Eve with Kinzie, Adam, Virginia, Sarah, Shane, Brenna, and the star of the night, Savannah, before the Sasnetts came down for the weekend. Then it was back to Auburn to start a new semester!
Now I know why most people don't take 18 hours in a semester. It's hard! I am guaranteed at least 2 tests and an essay every week until May. On top of that I'm taking an 8 hr/week LSAT prep course. On top of that I'm also trying to plan a wedding. My anxiety issues have already started to kick in. I know they're getting bad when I wake up anxious. Worry/anxiety is something that is a huge struggle for me. It's a sin that I constantly battle. If you think about it, I could definitely use a prayer or two.
I'm really tired and I have no clue what to write about next. So, I'm going to go to bed. Maybe you should suggest a topic for me, and I'll use it for my next post.
#2: I already know that it will be horribly written.
I've been meaning to write this post for a while, but have only now taken the time to do so. Granted, it's 11 PM and I should be doing homework, so this should probably be classified as "procrastination tool." I've officially been home almost 2 months, but it has seemed so much longer!
I think I've gotten to the point that I can look back on Spain with fondness. It's not that I didn't enjoy my time there, but it was difficult. I have such a busy/fun life here in the States and many friends and family. I was harder to be away from them than I thought it would be. The last 4 weeks were really hard! It was not fun to watch my new fiance hop back on a plane to the States. I was definitely ready to be home after that! However, in the past week or so, I've been thinking back to specific days or trips with much fondness. I keep retracing my walk to school, the walk to the peanut butter aisle in El Corte Ingles, the walk down La Rambla... as much as possible. I can tell I'm losing the vividness of some of those sights. I know I have to get back there one day.
After I flew home, I was of course bombarded with, "How was Spain?" I really appreciate everyone's interest in the trip, but how to you answer that in the 3 sentences or less that they will listen to? "Um, it was different but good." "I enjoyed it." Those can't adequately describe the emotions and experiences that I had there. I don't really know if I had the wonderful experience I thought I would. It was fun and I would definitely recommend it to anyone (just not through KEI), but I don't think people want to hear, "It was alright."
Christmas break was excellent. I got to spend much needed time with my family, friends, as well as with Joel and his family. I think I was a little awkward around everyone at first, but it doesn't take long to relax when you are home. However, that doesn't mean that I wasn't busy. I came home and immediately launched into Christmas mode. After that made a trip to B'ham and brought Joel back to Chatom with me. We then spent a wonderful New Year's Eve with Kinzie, Adam, Virginia, Sarah, Shane, Brenna, and the star of the night, Savannah, before the Sasnetts came down for the weekend. Then it was back to Auburn to start a new semester!
Now I know why most people don't take 18 hours in a semester. It's hard! I am guaranteed at least 2 tests and an essay every week until May. On top of that I'm taking an 8 hr/week LSAT prep course. On top of that I'm also trying to plan a wedding. My anxiety issues have already started to kick in. I know they're getting bad when I wake up anxious. Worry/anxiety is something that is a huge struggle for me. It's a sin that I constantly battle. If you think about it, I could definitely use a prayer or two.
I'm really tired and I have no clue what to write about next. So, I'm going to go to bed. Maybe you should suggest a topic for me, and I'll use it for my next post.
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